Monday, March 12, 2012

The Boredom Box

Ladies and Gentlemen, mutants of the pre post-nuke marauding roaming Over Master RULERS of this world, it has come too my attention that i have mot told the tale of "The Boredom Box" . Thanks too my good friend who i will leave nameless as not to embarrass i will not include his name here . He is also incredibly camera shy . Anyhow, the story can now be told, "The Boredom Box" .

Approximately 5 or so years ago i began going too the midnight movie events hosted at Centerstage, held downtown every saturday beginning at 12:00 midnight . For $3 you could sit in a folding chair in front of a projector and view 1 episode of whatever serial was being shown at the time, Flash Gordon or Buck rogers were the usuals, then after the episode, a cult film was shown, some titles included EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS, SQUIRM, MANIAC(1934), WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY, JOURNEY TO THE 7TH PLANET, and many others including one of my very favorites that being a SANTO film( unfortunately i cannot remember the title! ).... While going too these events quite often, i met a young Lady( i cannot remember her name either which may be good but out of respect i shall leave her nameless as well! ) . Long story short, she was pretty nice and cool . I hung out with her at a late night restaurant and had a nice time . She was fun too laugh with, making comments with everyone else at the films shown! Everyone having a good  time . I have had a dream woman for many years . I believe i told her but i also must have offended her, as one evening she asked if i would scratch her back . I offered her my keys and said, "You can use these" . She never spoke too me again and if i remember correctly, i went to one more movie night there and then that was it . Not too long later, Centerstage closed too due financial problems . To this day i admit i feel slightly "bad' but i did not give any hints that i was attracted relationship-wise or anything . I was NOT . Anyhow, before the end of the midnight movie events, this young Lady told me about "The Boredom Box" . The what? I asked .She proceeded too hand me a medium sized brown rectangular box heavily wrapped in clear packing tape . "If you ever find yourself bored, open this!" She gave it to me and for over 5 years or so it has sat in 3 different places i have lived in . 2 apartments, a house and now this cottage i live in . Through the years of having this box, various friends commented on it with wordings such as ,"I bet it's a dildo", "I bet it's porn", and so-forth! Late september 2011 i am sitting here in my living room after a rigorous near 2 weeks of cleaning and organizing in preparation for a walk through so i wouldn't find myself given an evition notice and kicked out! I sat on my couch and looking at the box, i FINALLY decided too open it! With a boxcutter i cut one end of the box and from out of it came 2 packing tape covered packages of varying sizes . Each 1 marked, "Option 1", "Option 2" and "Option 3" . I cut open opion 1 which was shaped odd and very light . Inside, the contents being nothing but popcorn packaging . "Hmmmm,...." i exclaimed . Option 2 shaped in a larger oval shape i opened revealing the following contents 1.) a plastic cucumber, a small squeezable container of KY Jelly, and a can of tuna fish! I laughed when i saw these contents and decided too give the tuna fish too my kitties . I opened it and was about too pour the contents into their bowl of catfood when i thought perhaps i should read the expiration date on it . If i remember correctly, it was 2006 . I quickly threw it away and fund them something else! The 3rd and final "Option 3" was definitely a videotape . i was convinced before even opening it that it was most likely an X-rated film . I opened it and as i began too remove the video cassette form the clear tape covered brown paper bag, i laughed for it was "Barney's Campfire Sing-Along" . So much for thinking that! 7 months later i sit here making food, preparing too eat then drink some beer before i do some e-mails and related internet stuff but i laugh and smile when i think about The Boredom Box . A pretty funny, cool idea indeed! Here's hoping that the young Lady i used too talk too at the Centerstage midnight movies has met someone special and is having a a very cool, good life! Wishing the BEST of luck too you wherever you are! Thank you for reading this! Thanks again too my pal( you know who you are! ) for getting on my back too do this! Thanks also too my favorite writers for inspiring me too write as well! Thank youm goodnight and KEEP THE FILTH!!!!!
your pal from outerspace, Charles The Bizarre Alien . Earth . March 12 2012 .